Filed under: College | Tags: accomplishment, Are you kidding me?, changes, choices, college, future, happiness, homesick, hope, katieism, learning, life, Sam Ferguson, St Augustine, Villanova
Wow. In two weeks, I will be in Canada. I will be with Katelyn, traipsing through Tremblant, shouting at people and having “I love you, girl” moments. It will probably be complete with What-the-Hell shots and some excellent skiing. And when I say probably, I mean definitely.
But these next two weeks are going to be frustrating. I am going to be increasingly sleep deprived, anxious, and enraptured in all things school. Learning and studying may very well kick my ass. But that is besides the point. Although I have a ton of stuff to do tonight, I am taking the time to blog tonight. Not just for procrastination purposes, but to reflect about the things I have experienced since I’ve gotten to Villanova. I mean- let’s face it.
I made it through my first semester.
At least, I have made it this far. I had nights when I thought for sure I would run back to Boston and never come back. I had days when I thought I would never make it to the end of class without freaking out. I cried on the phone, on skype, and to my pillow. I went through what seemed like hell at the time. But I rebounded too.
I made a few friends, but at least I have no enemies.
I’ve learned a lot. About myself as a student, about myself as a person, about life, about religion, about people my age, about people who aren’t my age. I’ve experienced more changes in the past five months than I have in the past four years. I’m still not very sure of myself, but at least today, right now, I am okay with blindly walking through the woods. I mean, there are trees and it’s scenic, and I have been able to hack up crap with my machete (calculus) and climb over the boulders blocking my way (identity crises, bad food, social dilemmas.) I have improved my survival skills (bullshitting, not sleeping, talking to strangers) and I have witnessed some crazy things (VEMS on Tuesdays, what not sleeping will do to you, the greater Philadelphia area, alcoholic professors.)
I’ve slept in a new bed (which I often have crazy dreams in), and I’ve felt alone (even though I have roommates), and I have missed home (even though Falmouth has never left my heart, ever.) I’ve danced on the stage at a concert, traveled to exotic places alone, read some mind blowing texts (Dante’s Inferno should be required life reading), and watched a lot of great TV and movies, courtesy of Netflix (Dexter, Weeds, indie comedies.) I’ve continued to explore some of my passions (newspapers, music, skiing) and left some at the wayside (drinking, for better or for worse.)
You know, I don’t really have anything to show that says how much I have (or have not) grown since my arrival at Villanova, other than a journal (filled with some morose entries) and some bags under my eyes. But nonetheless, I am still proud of myself for sticking it out, making some mistakes, fixing some mistakes, and learning a thing or two. Even if I am thinking in terms of making it from hour to hour, I am still alive and kicking and thirsty for more living.
I could get into my trials and tribulations. But I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to complain. I just want to keep going, move on, and hope things get better. Everyone I have ever met said college was one of the best times of their life, if not the best time. I hope I don’t prove that wrong. I want this to be great. I hope I have a lot of fun and meet a nice guy (or two or three) and learn less about St. Augustine and more about myself and my passions and what life means to me. A rough start can’t deter me from being hopeful for the rest of this craziness.
As Sam Ferguson said, “Die living.” I am not going to die because of college. And maybe that is the wrong place for said quote, but I feel like it’s perfect anyway. “Die living.” It might just be the best thing anyone has said, ever.
Filed under: Song of the Day | Tags: accomplishment, music, se, song of the day, The Hold Steady, video, weekend, weirdnerd
There was that whole weird thing with the horses.
I think they know exactly what happened.
I don’t think it needs any explaining.
I’m pretty sure I wasn’t your first choice.
I think I was the last one remaining.
I wish we hadn’t gone and destroyed it.
‘Cause I was thinking we could pull another weekender.
If you’ve still got a little bit of clairvoyance.
I remember the metal bar.
I remember the reservoir.
You could say our paths have crossed before.
So if it has to be a secret.
Then I guess that I can deal with it.
You and I both know it’s a negative thing.
In the end only the girls know the whole truth.
There were a couple pretty crass propositions.
There were some bugs in the bars.
There was a kid camped out by the coat check.
She said the theme of this party is the industrial age.
You came in dressed like a train wreck.
I remember the OTB.
The five second delivery.
You could say our paths have crossed before.
So if it has to be a secret.
Then I guess that I can deal with it.
God only knows it’s not always a positive thing.
To see a few seconds into the future.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: accomplishment, awesomeness, lacrosse, life, senioritis
this is my blog for today
:
So today was my lax banquet. And although it doesnt seem like the end I was not about to cry or get that emotional in any real regard.
Hart called me the backbone of the team. That in the end the season was really on my shoulders.
Thats what he said when he gave me my varsity and captain pin.
As he named me team MVP He called my dedication to not only better the program, but to better the sport and to better myself second to none.
As he called me as one of the 3 first team league all stars he went on explaining how “We might not have been able to say we had the best of anything else, but I knew we had the best goalie in the league”
And its only now, that I shed a couple of tears.
—–
Congrats, girl. You earned it.
Filed under: Senioritis, Uncategorized | Tags: accomplishment, awesomeness, internship, Lowell Sun, newspaper, senioritis, slacking
I’m kind of stunned that my internship is, more or less, over. Tuesday is my last day. The editors are taking me out to lunch.
Here are some of the best parts about having interned at The Sun.
- Most obviously, I got to experience first hand what it is like to work in a newsroom. I had a desk and a phone and assignments. I listened to the police scanner buzz and shout all day. I learned how to actually write an article. I met some very cool people. I met some really weird people too. But I couldn’t have learned what I did from any school newspaper or guessing game.
- I loved that no one set my schedule. No one told me and the other cattle to move to our next class at exactly 8:25 or to eat lunch fourth or to be somewhere. I could come and go as I pleased. I took lunch when I was hungry, and in fact, I had an hour to do so. That’s a big step up from twenty-ish hurried minutes of combined social interaction and stuffing my face. (Sorry, WA.) It was the Katie Show, and I was the director, producer, and owner of the station. It was my own game. It was actually a pretty strange experience at first, not to mention. I was almost waiting around for someone to tell me, “Go eat now” and “You can leave.”
- I was with ADULTS. I didn’t have to schlep around with kids and moochers and complainers. There was a lot less bullshit. Now granted, I didn’t get to see the entire works of that factory, but being older, nonetheless, is a whole new game with a new set of rules. I felt a lot more at home in the newsroom with people that, for the most part, could be my parents, than I did in the cafeteria at WA or in my gym class or whatever. Strange, maybe, but still one of the reasons why I loved The Sun.
- Having one class meant I could actually focus on that class. Now, I didn’t always do all the assignments and whatnot, but when it came down to studying for my AP test, I really put my all into it. Anddd I really liked being able to sneak out for an hour or so from work once in a while. It was a healthy break, plus I got to see some people I know and like to hang out with. Psych was the best class of the year, so finishing it out wasn’t too much of a heart breaker.
- Some of my assignments were… less than thrilling. But some were fantastic! I loved going to the Hellenic American Academy the other day. Vivian Panagakis, I love you! You are such a sincere person, and you made me feel so welcome! And Greek!! Doug Anderson, the school principal, took the time to show me the entire school and introduce me to most of the kids. It was great. And, that story made it on the front page!! It stood out as one of the times that I was really happy to be out and about, interviewing kids, seeing what goes on, and learning a bit about the community that I had never been exposed to before.
- Also, seeing my name, and more importantly, my work in print. Well, that’s pretty cool.
- The kind letters I have received in return from some people have also been so wonderful and rewarding. Like when I covered a couple choruses in Lowell. Frank Sullivan, he sent me these e-mails that were so kind and so genuine and made me feel so good. These emails made my day. Here’s one from Frank:
You did another great job on the Spindle City Singers article. There were several people from the group including Normand Ayotte who were very please with the write-up in the Lowell Sun. Don’t give up on a career in journalism. You need to investigate other opportunities where you can utilize your written communication skills. Good luck on your next important step in life and that is college where you will meet new people with a different background and experience.
- As much as I worked, I also had equal time to just relax. I think Guidance, when they were setting up the internship program, was hoping that as much as they want us to learn, they want us to have time to just chill out. I had some down time at work. I did my fair share of stumbling-upon and reading blogs. I listened to music. I browsed the mall from my computer.
I doubt I will be able to find a job that is quite as fulfilling as The Sun, but maybe that will give me some time to chill at the lake, read a lot, and work on my tan. Who knows, but The Sun set some pretty high standards. No complaints there. 
Cheers,
Katie
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: accomplishment, class, friends, graduation, high school, life, Westfordia, Woods Hole
I can’t believe I can finally say this: I am done with high school.
It’s done. It’s over. I made it.
Incredible.
There were so many days when I thought I would never make it. It is so strange to think that this is all the state will give me in public education. That after thirteen years of classes and schooling, I have learned enough to function as an adult in our society. I have learned enough to get by, balance a check book, get a job, and sign a lease to an apartment. I was amazed when they told me I was capable enough to drive a car, but now that they are telling me I am capable enough to get the hell out of the system… It is such a strange sensation.
I don’t think I have had any significant academic success stories during the past four years. In eighth grade, I would say it was mastering algebra. But other than that, nothing in my recent memory. In high school I have had academic failures. Like the blog project presentation for Mahoney’s class. What a disaster. I never thought we would have to make up a presentation because it was so bad the first time. We worked so damn hard on that project, and to watch it burn was just like watching your house blaze.
In high school I have had social failures. I have screwed up a few friendships. I have removed myself from a group I used to belong to, even though it was both a good idea and bad idea. I have suffered emotional failures, like running amock with depression during junior year. Or maybe that anger from my dindah cotillion date.
But despite the shittiness that was prevalent many days, I have some great memories from the past four years.
- Donuts in parking lots and sledding at LA. That was this winter, but what a fun, random ass night. I enjoyed every minute of it. I was with a group of people who would never actually all hang out together, in the middle of a giant snowstorm, on a school night, shmucking around and making a ruckus. It was a blast. You really had to be there. I wish I could relive that night one last time.
- Skipping school on my seventeenth birthday with Sal and Allan. Even if things never worked out with Allan, I truly had a great time that day. Eating lunch at Pour House. Going to the top of the Pru. Pretending we were the Ferris Bueller gang. Although cruising in a much less flashy car. And not running into our dean of students.
- Working at Kimball farm. Eating so much ice cream it became my diet. Getting a ripped arm. Meeting some new people. Learning what NOT to do with boys.
- Throwing parties in my parents beach house. Maybe not one of my wiser ideas, but certainly an excellent time. They were all a blast, even when shit went south. I learned how to stay focused while drinking, how to politely kick someone out of your house, and most importantly, how to clean.
- Devil’s Foot and Woods Hole Stock.
- Trampoline talks. Just laying on that massive nylon plate with friends, talking about whatever life has thrown at us, enjoying the warm weather, spending time with others. I kind of forgot about those. But what an excellent part of my first two years at WA.
- Making it to Nationals for DECA. It was such a unique experience. And I am sure it could never happen again. But it got me out of a dark spot, and it taught me a lot about myself, and it gave me an experience that I never thought possible. I got to bond with a teacher who ultimately helped me get into college. I had a great time. And I finally got to go to California. Sweetness.
God that sounds so sentimental and reminiscent. But good comes with the bad, and I suppose I am thankful for the good.
I think I did well on that last exam. I had studied hard for my AP test. Now I can move on from it all. I don’t quite know what’s in store, but hopefully things go over well.
Cheers to reading what I want to read, and doing it on my own schedule.
Katie
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: accomplishment, baking, chocolate, cupcakes, happiness, peanut butter
These bad boys came out amazing. The cake was dense, not too sweet, and moist. The frosting, while I am somewhat ashamed that I resorted to a revamped canned version, complimented the cake well.
The guys at work practically fell over when they tried them, so I am thinking they are worth making again.
What You’ll Need
1.2 cup + 3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa (Dutch-processed)
1 liquid cup boiling water
3 large eggs
2 1/4 tsp vanilla
2 1/4 cup + 2 tbsp sifted cake flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 tbsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
12 tbsp unsalted butter, softened
Throughout this process, periodically scrape the sides of your bowls.
In a medium bowl, whisk together cocoa and boiling water until smooth. Cool to room temp.
Combine eggs, about a quarter of the cocoa mix, and the vanilla in another bowl.
In the big bowl, combine the dry ingredients. Add the butter and remaining cocoa mixture, mixing on low speed to moisten the dry ingredients.
At medium speed, beat for a minute and a half. This develops the cake’s structure by aerating the mixture.
Add egg mixture in three batches. Beat after each addition.
Scrape batter into pans (greased and floured if not lined with cupcake liners) so pans are about half way full. For cakes, bake 25 to 35 minutes. For cupcakes, bake 13 to 20 minutes.
When you take the cakes out of the oven, the cakes should start to shrink from the sides of the pan/paper. Don’t be alarmed, this is good.
Let those babies cool.
To frost:
I totally cheated. I took a can of Betty Crocker Vanilla frosting and mixed in some peanut butter until the frosting didn’t taste so cheap/fake/&vanilla-y. It was about three massive spoonfuls. Just beat it together until you find a consistency and taste you like. Be generous in frosting your cupcakes (people like this.) Also, don’t frost cakes immediately upon removal from the oven. It will mess up your frosting.
These cupcakes went over rather well. I will definitely be adding the recipe to my repertoire.
As always, this recipe is from the Cake Bible.
Cheers,
Katie
In the words of the great Mick Jagger, you can’t always get what you want. I try to avoid cliche in my writing, but the man (woman?) has a point. Try as we might, not everything can fall into our palms; however, usually something of decent compromise will.
Life is not about pitching no-hitters, always being five minutes early, or blue ribbons.
The turn of events doesn’t have to be perfectly aligned for a day to, if not feel perfect, then at least feel just right. As a society, we are looking to get results. We want achievements and letters and statistics and data. Which is too bad. Life has a lot more to offer than data.
Today I was reminded that it is the process- the process is what makes a perfect day perfect. I spent the day with one of the best farters friends that I have. We could both agree that the results would read it wasn’t a perfect afternoon, but thinking about it, those two or three hours we spent together really were perfect. It was just that bonding time together (that we get to experience so little of) and knowing that we care about one another and enjoying it all.
There was something the Rolling Stones missed, however, in their lyrical greatness: they forgot to include how in the end, getting what you ‘need’ is in someways the same as getting what you ‘want.’ I think a lot of the time, people just aren’t aware of that lesser want. Society focuses on that big prize. The giant cookie jar waiting on the top shelf. ( And by the way, Mick, you don’t usually need what you want. I mean think about it- who really needs a giant tub of cookies?)
ANYWAY
My afternoon was perfect because, despite any cons, it was the exact quality time and love I was looking for.
Statistics don’t necessarily correlate happiness.
Coach was right- it’s about playing the game, not winning.
Katie
