Filed under: College | Tags: all nighter, college, music, sleep, video, Violent Femmes
Blister in the Sun – The Violent Femmes
I am convinced that this song is the all-nighter anthem.
Notice the tempo: it’s pretty consistently upbeat, pounding on its usual familiar notes. The band sings with zest and purpose. Every word is meant to be there. Then, after about 4 sets of this happy yuppy stuff, the Femmes sing a little softer, and surely enough the tempo slows a little too.
But then ZOOM! They are off singing with just as much forte and playing with just as much gumption.
Before you know it, the song is over.
This mimics an all nigher, perfectly. You start out increasing your speed and working harder as you go. But at some point, you inevitably, hit a ditch. You start surfing the web or clowning around and you get groggy.
If you haven’t given up, at some point, you will jump start, get back into the swing of things. Sometimes it is as if the snail-pace distraction period never even happened.
Once the sun comes up, you always say “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that so soon. I thought I had more time.”
It’s the same thing over and over again.
Recently, I have been pulling one to two all-nighters a week. It’s probably been going on almost six weeks (I know for certain it has been at least four straight weeks.) But what is nice is that I have been able to deal with it pretty well.
Anyway, I want you to listen to this in the mind set of ‘I am trying to stay up all night and be productive.’ Try to ignore the loopy lyrics, although their zany randomness complements the deranged mindset that an all-nighter is undoubtedly associated with. Let me know what you think.
Filed under: Late Night | Tags: all nighter, breakfast, college, morning, night, sleep, Top Ten Lists
10. All the streetlights are flashing red.
9. Whatever message you inked on your hand is just as smudged as your eye makeup.
8. Channels 4 and 7 are still playing infomercials.
7. You didn’t even notice that your right heel was broken.
6. Yesterday’s outfit is becoming today’s ‘slightly-disheveled-chic’ look.
5. You are having illusions of grandeur, including a need to exercise as soon as the gym opens, random pancake cravings, and a shrinking to-do list.
4. You greeted the man who delivered the Wall Street Journal.
3. Coca-cola is an acceptable alternative to coffee.
2. The look like you have two black eyes and a fever, but it’s really just from too few naps and too many calories.
1. Your Crackberry vibrates incessantly as your roommate, bestfriend and boyfriend ask you where you are and if you’re alright.
UPDATE: Add somewhere on this list “You sent an important email to someone you corresponded with from Craigslist by accident.” I just did that. Idiot.
Filed under: College | Tags: all nighter, coffee, college, night, perks of college, shit list, slacking, sleep, Stress, work
College is excruciating. At least sometimes. Thankfully not always.
Every college student must master the ‘all nighter.’ While some students are better than others at planning out their studying and eating and internet surfing, it’s downright essential that everyone completes at least one, if not five, each semester.
Given my propensity to wait until the last minute (I’m convinced I work better under pressure,) I’ve pulled more than I can count. (Then again, my mind tries to block out the memories.) Tonight, for instance, I pulled an all nighter. An all nighter can only be considered excruciating, God awful, horrible pain when you reach that time when the caffeine makes you lightheaded, especially when you tilt your head a little to the left, and you feel as if the only way you could possibly keep your eyes open is by physically peeling your heavy eyelids open with your thumb-and-forefinger crane. Other than that, if you have an objective, a decent attitude and all the right materials, you can’t go wrong.
First things first: make a shit list. Make sure to write “SHIT LIST” in big letters at the top, and list everything that you need to do before the sunrises, in order of importance. Include check boxes next to each item so that way you can track your own progress. It will also help you feel accomplished once you can tick off ‘Read 6 chapters of macroeconomic theory’ at five AM (several hours after you began reading.) Little moral boosters like this are key to organization and a successful sleepless party for one.
Every all nighter needs all nighter provisions. What kind of caffeine source do you have? While coffee is your best bet, at most colleges, the coffee shop does close for the night. Lukewarm coffee is gross, so make sure you have a back up if yours gets nasty. I recommend Coke Zero. 
None of the calories of regular cola and just as much caffeine. It won’t leave you shaking like Monster and other energy drinks. It’s also the cheapest option, making it great for sustained intake. Snacks are also key to all nighters. Screw your diet for one hot minute. If it’s sold in a vending machine, it is fair game. Snacks serve as a great motivational tool, and eating serves as a great way to reel you back in to your studies. Bring something and keep it handy for the two AM munchies. (It happens every time!)
You might not think to ask yourself “what am I wearing?” But this can make your all nighter all the more effective. Make sure you are comfortable. No pants that cut, shoes that make your feet ache, or distracting accessories like scarves. The less you have to worry about yourself, the better. Make sure you layer in case you break out in hot flashes from all your anxiety or the room is so frigid that you wonder if you’re inside a meat locker. The boy scouts say be prepared, and I tend to agree, at least when it comes to clothes.
Pick your spot. Make sure it’s familiar enough that you don’t want to explore, yet not so familiar that you know exactly where that TV is hidden and a great place to practice for the wastepaper basketball tournament. A clean space, with few distractions and a minimal level of noise is ideal. Extra points to places without internet access. That virtually eliminates all possible distractions! Remember- if you are going to stay up all night to finish something, you want to get it done! Picking a space is key to your success. Avoid bedrooms, friend’s apartments, cafeterias, and other high traffic/high distraction areas.
The most important preparation for your all nighter: bring all your books! If you think you could possibly need it for whatever you are working on all night, bring it with you. Trust me when I say that you are not going to want to walk a third of a mile through the cold to retrieve a notebook or file at 3:38 AM. The only way you’re going back to your room is to jump into that warm, inviting bed of yours. If you can show yourself you’re actually prepared, then you will help motivate yourself to work.
If all nighters were easy, they’d call them “You after a bottle of wine.” Okay, maybe not. But really, it is difficult to stay on track while pulling an all nighter. My solution: give yourself time to fool around. You can’t realistically work for 8 hours straight without stopping for air. Give yourself ten minutes here and there to check your email, blog, tweet, or buy more provisions. If you think you won’t get back to studying, bring an egg timer or set that obnoxious alarm on your cell phone to bring you back to reality and force you to get back to work.
This might seem a bit elementary. Why Katie, of course we should stay hydrated and focused and… wh-why would anyone wear pants that are too tight? Well, there’s one thing people always forget: college students are children. We really are. Tell us that there will be a cartoon marathon or that they are giving away free cookies somewhere, and we jump right on that shit. So, keep that in mind when you’re pulling an all nighter; the more basic logic you use, the better off you will be. So if I reward my inner child I will succeed? Uhm, yeah, something like that. Just try not to put yourself up against standards that cannot be achieved. If you think the ever dubious but always satisfying 8AM all nigher nap will do you good, then go for it. Sleep for ninety minutes before your first class. Kids nap. And I’ve never met a college student who didn’t love to sleep…
Filed under: College | Tags: college, day in the life, procrastination, slacking, sleep, StumbleUpon, Villanova
8:30 AM- Your phone alarm screams into your eardrum. Fuck this, I am way too tired, you think as you look down at the heap of books, dirty socks, empty Coke zero bottles, and frayed notebooks covered in your scrawl. You throw your phone with about the same accuracy and speed as any Red Sox pitcher against the wall (just enough to crack your phone, but not enough to consider it in the strike zone.)
9:45 AM- Somehow your phone was resurrected while you slept. But you are sleeping like a champ; the alarm is not loud enough for you to hear it, so you continue to sleep while you can.
10:45 AM- Your phone chimes again. Somehow it has made its way back to your mound of shit- must’ve been that roommate of yours. Half the favor, but never enough. You are late for your morning business class. You hop into the nearest pair of jeans, wrestle with a bra and sneaker laces, yank a shirt over your head, and throw your toothbrush into its new home in your backpack as you sprint down the stairs and out the door.
10:51 AM- You are late, but just in time for Bill to bust out his jokes. He marks you present as you stroll– albeit twenty minutes late– into business dynamics. Someone snickers as you plop into a seat, but you could care less. You open your notebook to compose your daily STD list– Shit to do.
10:59 AM- Your STD list is done. The limp notebook paper looks as if it has just been massacred with blue ink. You have enough check boxes to put any normal person into cardiac arrest. How the hell you will complete it all today, you have no idea, but considering you aren’t a normal person, chances are you will get a decent amount done. Maybe.
11:02 AM- You and Bill have your usual discussion- the one where you make a comment about something topical that he mentions in passing, a (successful) effort to make yourself sound intelligent, that gets him started on a mildly interesting tangent but also keeps you mildly engaged.
11:19 AM- Bill let’s the class out. You fight through the crowd in the hallway and book it down the stairs.
11:22 AM- Rip out some Rousseau to read while you wait in line at Conolly for your usual turkey-swiss-thousand-island-lettuce-tomato-onion-sandwich with a pickle-on-the-side.
11:27 AM- Sandwich in hand, you grab a seat on the upper-deck, then voraciously eat your sandwich as you attempt to digest Rousseau’s ramblings at the same time.
11:40 AM- You ate way too fast. Stomach aches. You hear your computer whispering your name from inside your bag. Knock it off, you say to yourself. But will power was never really your thing, so you throw Rousseau back in your bag and plug in to the fabulous world of the internet. God, it feels good to check your Facebook page for updates. It’s as if you’ve never done it before.
12:12 PM- Snake, Cityville, and random picture surfing has been enough Facebook. You curse yourself for wasting all that time. Class starts in fifteen minutes, and you have at least twenty five more pages of dense, philosophical garbage to comb through. Woops… Fuck it. You return to the wonderful world of the internet, this time to check Twitter and three GMail accounts.
12:27 PM- You close your laptop and sprint to class.
3:02 PM- Your last class of the day begins. You swallow hard as Suzanne begins her drone, that you know will never end. This is also an effort to choke back laughter in regards to Suzanne’s outfit. (Overall jean skirt. One of a kind, friends.)
3:03 PM- Fuck this, I am making Caroline a survey. So much more entertaining. ‘Survey for Carolion. Roar!!!’
3:17 PM- Pass complete survey to Caroline.
3:27 PM- Begin giant doodle of “Fuck it!” in block letters. Ignore Suzanne’s request for everyone to calculate GDP in 2005 dollars. You could not care any less.
3:35 PM- Note to Caroline. “I am so mad that if I were wearing a mood ring, it would burst into flames.”
3:36 PM- Ignore Suzanne’s glares from across the room as you snicker moderately loudly.
3:53 PM- Continue to doodle obscene faces.
3:57 PM- Note from Caroline. “I was going to wear that outfit tomorrow, but I guess Suzanne beat me to it.” Laugh again about how ridiculous she looks. The mock turtleneck really pulls it all together.
4:12 PM- Begin to rudely put books away before actually being dismissed from class.
4:14 PM- Stand up and put on your coat as the entire class begins to walk out the door, despite Suzanne’s closing remarks.
4:15 PM- Enjoy your freedom. You grab a coffee, hit up the mailroom before it closes, waste some time with your favorite extra-curricular activities, check your email, ignore a phone call from a family member, and generally catch up from the day.
5:49 PM- Grab dinner at the corner grill; who doesn’t love chicken fingers drenched in salad dressing with some vegetables on a wrap? Amen to calories, as you always say.
6:19 PM- You head off to some obligatory group meeting. It seems like there is always at least one.
6:44 PM- By now it feels as if you have beaten a dead horse. You get it. They get it. Enough already, let’s end this fucking meeting so you can get the fuck out of there!
6:52 PM- The group packs up. You bolt. That was fucking misery, you think to yourself.
6:59 PM- You descend to your usual hiding spot in Bartley. Opening your laptop, you check your email to help you make a game plan regarding homework for the evening.
7:02 PM- Homework? Who the fuck does homework? You deserve a break for all the hard work you’ve done today.
8:36 PM- Grab an iced tea from Holy Grounds. Too bad it’s not a Long Island iced tea, you think. You also think about how awesome the black girl looks with her blonde weave. She can actually pull it off a lot better than you could. You go back to your seat.
9:27 PM- You still haven’t started any homework. But Caroline calls, and you pledge you will study together.
9:58 PM- Caroline shows up, and you find a new, quieter hiding place that you can chit chat in. You hook your computer up to the desk and check your email.
10:07 PM- Someone posts a funny video on your Facebook wall. Conveniently enough, it is as also a link to StumbleUpon.
12:24 AM- You realize you have gotten nothing done, so you decide to make a ‘Shit To Do’ List for yourself. You get a little carried away writing on the whiteboard, especially when Caroline insists you write “19″ in Spanish, as well as several quotes from the day. (“Ahh! I broke my achilles!” ; “I am so mad, if I were wearing a mood ring right now, it would burst into flames!” ; etc.)
12:46 AM- Get distracted by another StumbleUpon link. Start reading funny lines to Caroline. Who doesn’t love dead baby jokes?
1:32 AM- You both pack up your shit and throw in the towel on getting anything done.
1:39 AM- Stroll into your dorm room, and immediately throw on a season of Three Sheets. You know you won’t fall asleep anyway.
3:00 AM- You have already watched three episodes. You turn off the tv show, but switch to surfing through Facebook.
3:36 AM- You turn off your laptop, hoping you’re tired enough to fall asleep.
4: 30 AM- After over an hour of tossing and turning and searching for the cold part of your pillow, by some miracle, you pass out. God only knows all that bullshit today was completely and utterly exhausting.
Filed under: Rants & Ridiculousness | Tags: happiness, life, Rant, slacking, sleep
It is 6:30 in the morning, and I am laying in bed, and it has been hours since I’ve slept. Surprise, surprise.
I’ve got a million and one things to do today, and I am thoroughly fatigued, and I have nothing better to do than sleep. But instead, I am wide awake, watching Netflix and playing games on facebook.
It’s a huge stupid waste of time.
When is this going to end? I always feel like I am busy with another waste of time. Even things of marginal importance are fleeting and ultimately make no impact on my ability to sink or swim. Going to the Phonathon is just another way to pass the time; homework is a means to an end; to do lists carry as much life as any rock or grave in a cemetery.
People can talk out their ass about how important college and learning and education and resumes are to my future, my life, my well-being, but I still can’t help but want to shout “Bullshit!” as if I’m at a basketball game bearing witness to a poor call for my team. Not that basketball matters, either.
Yet, in my most idealistic plans for the future, I am still a schmuck, not unlike Duchovny’s character on Californication, or even Dexter’s ditzy sister, Debra. Sexy and doing cool things, but still doing nothing, or at least feeling shitty nine times out of ten. I want to feel as good as people on tv look. But we all know, that’s never happening.
If I picked a career tomorrow, one that in the end would allow for the most happiness, or at least perceived happiness, I would tend bar. Eventually I could manage the place, and who knows; down the road I could open my own joint.
I would be Dee, if Dee were a brunette and lived in some city other than Philadelphia. (I’ll be honest- there just isn’t enough to do here.)
But in the midst of my midnight ramblings, I have discovered that despite my boredom, I have figured out the way I deem something worthwhile, or at least if it has the potential to make me happy. These may seem irrelevant, arbitrary, or at best, unusual. But, such is the case sometimes.
- Does it lead to a chance to drink more wine?
- How funny is it?
- Will it matter in an hour? A week?
- Can I still be sassy?
- Can it be done barefoot?
While the answer to one of these questions may not affect any of the others, if it meets all criteria, it certainly is something that I really, really like.
Not sleeping doesn’t have any of these qualities, aside from being barefoot. (It’s weird to sleep with shoes on.) College is also limiting in the sassy/funny category.
Life, however, should be all of the above. Life should not feel like a huge waste of time.
Filed under: College | Tags: college, Exams, Father Guido Sarducci, finals, finals week, Five Minute University, graduation, ridiculousness, sleep, St Augustine, Stress, video
It’s finals week. After a week of three or four too many all nighters, and two intense examinations, I crashed. I can honestly say that I slept for nearly twenty hours. Some people call it disgusting, but I just call it college.
It’s unfortunate that I have to go to such great lengths to get a B. It frustrates me- what the hell ever happened to the middle school grading system? If you did your home work, were polite, and did maybe an hours worth of studying for anything, you earned an A for the term. Spark Notes, YouTube how to videos, and asking Dad for help were sufficient study guides and reflected some honest effort from you as a student.
But now, I’m in college, a place only 6.7% of people world wide graduate with degrees from (Huffington Post). The old standards, they just don’t cut it.
The college philosophy is this: because we need scheduling to be efficient, and we only have a definite period of time in which we can fit everything in, we are going to hope and pray to God, Augustine, and the textbook companies that A) you haven’t died, ODed or dropped out by the end of the semester; B) you naturally have the energy levels of a meth addict; C) understand everything you’ve learned in all your classes; so D) we can give you two and a half hour long tests every day for a week right before we kick you out for a month.
In the worlds of Run DMC, it’s like that y’all and that’s the way it is.
I like the way Father Guido Sarducci refers to college: “It’s all memorization. And it don’t matter how long you can remember anything, just as long as you can parrot it back for the test.”
It’s true: in five years, I might remember the titles of the books I read. Probably not all of them. Maybe I will recall that Antigone is about some rule breaking girl, and that Inferno is about hell. But I am positive that I will never recall the contents of Gorgias. Hell, I can barely remember how to spell the title- and I read it maybe ten weeks ago!
If I had the opportunity to attend Fr Sarducci’s Five Minute University, I would definitely sign up. $20 is a very reasonable price for tuition.
For my foreign language requirement, I would hope they teach me how to ask for a beer at the pool bar in whatever language. No conjugations, like he said- just that one sentence.
Economics – I think I have that one down now. Supply and demand. Erasmus, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t need you anymore. Please don’t be angry with me. (I think Caroline might come too.)
If my business dynamics was Fr Sarducci’s definition, I definitely would not have left the exam yesterday stupefied, anxious and gaping like a cod fish.
I am taking theology next semester. (This time around I had to endure philosophy. SIDENOTE: I go to a Catholic school. Why can’t we just be like ‘Hey!… Believe in God.’ as opposed to beating around the bush with all this cock’n'bull ‘What are ideas?’ and ‘thingification,’ which is a real thing thank you very much, and ‘Where do we come from?’ I know you want me to respond ‘GOD MADE ME!’ so just tell me that at the beginning of the year, and then I don’t have to schlep my ass to class three days a week. Okay?) And I already know what a heap of BS they are going to throw at me. If only Fr Sarducci taught the class…
I think the Five Minute University is a great idea. After all these sleepless nights, there is nothing I would love more than for Fr Sarducci to hand me a cocktail and to tell me- hey! Don’t worry about those tests. You’ve already graduated!
And one last thing: when they made up the idiom “the old college try,” they were absolutely referring to Five Minute University. I have no doubts.
Filed under: College, Late Night | Tags: alive, insomnia, katieism, life, moments of sanity, sleep
I don’t know if what Villanova University breathing down my neck; a gutteral desire to correct my erratic sleeping; or maybe I shit the bed (ha). But I got up in time for my 9:30 this morning. I participated in my classes, and I did not act like a zombie without my coffee.
I was only really tired for those twenty or so minutes of half-sleep right before I got up, that time when I was hemming and hawing about actually getting up for the day.
As much as being tired sucks (and I swear the Black Eye I am drinking is actually depressing my system), I have to keep my good-attitude-pants on.
I feel alright. I don’t have much in lieu of homework this week, aside from studying, studying, studying. And I am on good terms with all my teachers. Not to mention, I got the go ahead from my owners to host Festivus this year.
It won’t be much longer until I am on the road with KG, headed to Canada, America’s woolly hat, either.
My friend Chicken recently started up a blog of her own. Her most recent post reminded me of something I have told her about: Moments of Sanity. You gotta live for the Moments of Sanity. Contentedness is still good.
So yeah, I am awake now and under-rested, buttttttt it could be worse.
I could be this guy.
Ladies. Gentlemen.
I’ve still got it.
Filed under: Late Night, Rants & Ridiculousness | Tags: frustration, future, insomnia, night, sleep, Stress
Oh hey. Look at the time. It’s 4:21 in the morning. Again. I am wide awake, laying in bed, watching episodes of Weeds on Netflix.
Great. Just great.
It would be one thing if I had a lot of energy despite my not sleeping. But I am always exhausted. At night I don’t sleep, and during the day I don’t sleep, and in the midafternoon my exhaustion gets the best of me. I take a nap for a few hours, or five, and wake up, do homework, go to work, yadda yah, whatever.
And at night when I am beyond tired, I still don’t sleep.
And then, at random, once in a while, I fall asleep at night and sleep for some extraordinary amount of time.
You might be thinking, well, it’s great when you finally get some rest. But you’re wrong! Because at that point, my sleep is disruptive. It fucks up my entire day. I honestly debate if I would rather not sleep another night or sleep just a little more than the usual bare minimum.
Why can’t I at least be productive in my sleepless hours? Instead, I am tired and my mind wanders, and even if I want to focus on reading or homework, I simply cannot.
So here I am.
You know, if I had a working printer, I would make postcards for PostSecret. If I had a kitchen, I would bake. If I was at home, I would call a friend or invite them over or go for a walk somewhere. I could even read a novel!
But tonight, another night, I lay in bed, surfing Netflix and examining the lattice of the underside of the bunk bed, thinking, closing my eyes, trying to sleep. I always end up giving up hope about sleep, or ruminating on life or old friends or why the hell I can’t sleep. It’s all the same. It’s awful.
This is the Insomniac’s Lament.
WHY CAN’T I SLEEP? WHY CAN’T I SLEEP? WHY CAN’T I SLEEP?
Sleep time comes at a premium these days. So why can’t I actually sleep on the nights I am able to actually set aside time to sleep? What the hell is up with that?
Am I right to be angry and vulgar and annoyed?
Filed under: Rants & Ridiculousness | Tags: bitch whine and complain, bullshit, class, complaining, deadlines, frustration, honesty, Rant, review, sleep, St Augustine, Stress, stupidity
I’m not sure if I want to scream, kill something, or throw my laptop off the roof of the business school.
I spent just about my entire night awake, writing a horrific essay on St. Augustine’s view of love. It was utterly painful to write, and certainly my acute writer’s block as of late was of no help. But I managed to shit out some crap onto four pages, enough to hand in for peer reviews today.
I am so pissed I spent my night writing this crap, when all we did today was have our peers edit our paper.
The paper itself wasn’t actually due to my professor, like I had anticipated.
I only cranked out this fluffy awfulness so my peer could do a half ass read over of my shitty ass essay on St. Augustine of all things.
I stayed up all night, writhing with caffeine, frustration and exhaustion. I got up early after my 5 AM nap to continue with this wretchedness. I was really actually concerned with my grade on this one. I made sure I had my shit together so I could get to class and hand in my paper on time!
For nothing. For absolutely nothing.
So some chick in my class could bullshit an “editing” of my paper. I see not one comment in the margins. Not one. Her comments were limited to the bare minimum required by my professor on the reverse outline. Single sentences. Seriously?
Sometimes I hate myself for loving to write. When I am assigned to edit someone’s paper, or a friend asks me to read it over, I provide all kinds of insight, information and mechanical information about their essay. I try to be honest, and I try to give my all into the advice I give them. I do this, not only out of the kindness of my heart, but because I would LOVE for someone to provide me that amount of feedback on my writing.
In total, I got less than 6 “sentences” of feedback on my four and a half pages of writing.
If you saw the paper I had read, you would’ve seen the margins and spaces littered with my messy handwriting. Comments, critiques, and arrows galore. WHAT THE FUCK?
Moral of the story: Shit happens.
Filed under: College, Rants & Ridiculousness | Tags: class, college, Katelyn Geraghty, library, life, Scotland, sleep, St Andrews, work, Yahs
By my great friend, Katelyn Geraghty
8:00 AM- Alarm goes off. Fuck, it’s way too early for this- the sun’s not even up yet. Accidentally turn off alarm in half-awake state, go back to sleep
9:12 AM- Wake up. Going to be late for lecture again. Hop in the shower for 5 minutes, grab whatever clothes are nearby, put on as many articles of outerwear as possible, and prepare to freeze on the mile long trek to class.
10:05 AM- Make it to lecture. You’re wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and moderately priced, practical winter boots, and therefore do not come even close to looking like any of the “St Andrews girl” robots around you. Attempt to pay attention, and ignore the up/down/up stares of the girls around you at your choice of outfit.
11:00 AM- Walk out of the lecture hall. Fuck, it’s cold out. Go to the library between classes, and spend the whole time on Facebook/ having no choice but to listen to the annoying Yahs sitting near you, talking as loudly as possible about how drunk they were last night.
Noon- Tutorial. You’re weeks behind on the reading, and have nothing to say. The German kid and the American kid are arguing again, and even though you haven’t kept up with the material, you know more about the topic than they do combined. Still, you say nothing, fearful of the wrath of the German kid if you try to correct him.
1:00 PM- Tutorial’s finally over. You go back to the library to take a nap, but the place is packed. Manage to snag a booth.
1:50 PM- Fuck it, you’re not going to go to Econ. You haven’t been in weeks but listening to the lecturer read off the slides, taken verbatim from the textbook, is too much for you to handle. Why the fuck are you majoring in Econ anyway? It’s so boring. Go back to sleep.
3:28 PM- Wake up from your nap, surf the internet for a while.
4:52 PM- Drag yourself to your philosophy lecture. Reading the econ textbook (which is clearly not written for university students) is one thing, but attempting to read Aristotle is another. Plus, the lectures give you nifty quotes to incorporate into your essay, so you don’t actually have to read anything. Why is this class so late? It looks like it could be midnight, it’s so dark out.
6:01 PM- Walk down Market street to Starbucks, bracing yourself to cough up the £3 for a latte. It snowed a whopping 4 inches in the last few days, and turns out Starbucks is closed AGAIN because of the weather. Swear off this fucking town, and walk over to Costa. The queue is all the way to the door.
6:47 PM- Finally get your large latte. Promise yourself you are going to stop drinking coffee, because there’s no way you can afford it any more. Go to the library.
6:55 PM- The library is pretty empty, because everyone goes out on Tuesday nights. To the same 4 bars. Wow, this place has great nightlife! I love being around conceited Yahs and rich Americans! Continue to procrastinate in the library.
8:03 PM- You finished your coffee ages ago, and need another source of caffeine. The vending machines only have water, and are sold out anyway. You leave your computer, take your bag, and go to make a quick Tesco run.
8:14 PM- You get to Tesco, and remember that there’s no such thing as a quick Tesco run. Why the fuck is this place always so fucking packed? The shelves are completely picked over- you grab the last 2 Cokes (the diet is sold out, probably has been since 4 PM) and some skittles.
8:44 PM- That was actually quicker than you expected. As you power walk to the library, you pray that no one stole your laptop. You bring your caffeine source and snack up to your booth in the “silent zone” (food upstairs, what a badass). You get back to your booth and it’s just as you left it. Of course no one stole your laptop, it’s clearly at least 2 years old, and everyone here already has a brand new MacBook Pro. Taking yours isn’t even worth the effort. Continue to find ways to procrastinate.
9:27 PM- Skittles are actually really loud, you decide to go for something quieter next time.
10:42 PM- You try to find ways to justify going back to your room, but can’t think of any legitimate arguments, as you have written a single paragraph over the course of the whole day, none of which makes any sort of sense at all. You are so tired, and need to stay up to get work done, but can’t concentrate due to fatigue. You realize that your life has become a vicious cycle of lack of sleep- lack of work- lack of sleep.
11:17 PM- You want nothing more than to be curled up in the fetal position. The colour of the carpet reflects your attitude towards life: sick, sad, and burnt out.
Midnight- The library is closing. Fuck, it’s really cold out now. Brace yourself for the walk back. Avoid drunk people who are leaving the bars at the same time, because nothing is open past 12 here.
12:35 AM- Back in your room. Try to make yourself work, end up getting nothing done.
2:32 AM- Finally go to sleep.
8:00 AM- Repeat
