KatieAtlas

UPDATE: This is my one hundredth post!!! And, the more I read this, the more increasingly disturbed I am by my own ridiculousness. Definitely worth reading, if not for just a laugh. Peace.

Everybody has quirks. I have really, really strange dreams. Sometimes they are trippy, sometimes they are disturbing, and sometimes they are just plain fucked up. Last night, the Captain and I sat down for a chat. He ended up giving me a night full of wackiness, and figments of my imagination I didn’t even know were possible to have. Thankfully, we are on such good terms he didn’t leave a hangover. Here is what I can remember of my wild night, in no particular order:

• Well, let’s get out the most disturbing stuff first. Remember this is a dream. I was molested by my grandfather (not the one I am currently living with.) It was just as sick and twisted and upsetting as I imagine it could be for anyone. Because we couldn’t make it home in time, the whole gang ended up staying at a hotel on the side of the mountain (you’ll see.) It was late. The hotel room was suite style, and somehow I ended up in the same bed as my grandpa… Nannie was off taking care of Missy’s kids. I dunno. It was weird. The worst part was I could’ve sworn I was really being fingered. Uh, gross?? When I started yelling for my Mom, he left me alone. She asked what had happened, because I was pretty clearly upset. Grandpy jumped in and was like “She’s 18 and very attractive,” or something to that affect (as if it would make a difference.) My mother rebuked with something like “Well she might be 18, but she looks 20, and we all know where she got that from.” Mom, she always has to get her shots in.
• I elected to leave the hotel. In fact, I was so pissed I was no longer going to live with my grandparents (I guess I was doing that at the time?) I ran around looking for Nannie. I walked into Missy and Grey fooling around in bed by accident. Eventually found Nannie. Explained the situation to her. She was just as repulsed as I was. Grandpy kept pulling that line to defend himself. I remember thinking “God, I doubt my grandparents even fuck anymore. What the hell is he doing with me?”
• Anyway, at one point, Missy, me, my mother, and Nannie were all standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom. We had weird hair, all very similar. They are all blondes in real life and I am a brunette. But we all had a salt and pepper do. My blonde highlights were only on my bottom layers, and I had a really sexy haircut. In fact, I want that hair. Missy had curly hair in my dreams, so the color came in and out. My mom looked strange with light brown highlights, ditto for Nannie. While I stared at everyone in the mirror a robed Missy suggested I just wear revealing clothes and Grandpy can just get some eye candy. I was like “Are you kidding????”
• I left the hotel and ended up at a field/camp ground/rec center type place where there was a big party going on. There were people from school, work, everywhere. At some point, I ran into Yasemin. She grabbed these enormous bottles of vodka and Captain (of course) out of the bed of a truck. We sat for a minute and watched these black guys playing basketball. I had had one sip when Yasemin shouts “Run!” and books it down the road, away from the party. Of course, the cops had shown. And being the idiot that I am, I ran toward the building. I tried to hide behind this air conditioning unit thing, but lights were flashing all around it so I gave up, came out with my hands up.
• Mrs. Calisi and my Fab Five girls were nearby and saw me walking. Mrs. C was bitching, all “you are intoxicated, you’re gonna get arrested, blah blah blah blah, you’re in trouble!” I remember very defiantly saying “I am not intoxicated,” and Kate said in this really meek, but pissy voice “Well I’m intoxicated.” It was a true Kate moment. Love it.
• Continuing in my defiance, I proceeded to be all “I am not gonna get arrested” even though I was pretty certain the cops came because there was a huge, illegal party going on outside in the middle of the night… And it turns out, that the cops came because KiKi died. I thought it was the little girl who I really saw at the beach yesterday, but it turns out it was this old woman named KiKi.
• I was anxious. Someone just died at this party. People were sobbing. As I was looking for my friend Shawn, who I thought was at the party, pallbearers came out of the building, and Shawn in hysterics, laying on top of the casket, freaking the shit out. Thinking about it, it is hilarious. In my dream, I took this very seriously. Apparently, it was Shawn’s great aunt KiKi, not just any random KiKi woman.
• The casket was brought down to the pavillion I was standing under. Everyone was sad and generally freaking out. I guess a lot of people knew KiKi. (Actually, I had talked to KiKi when I got to the party initially.) As I stood in the crowd, I found out that she was 92, had done a lot for the community, and was the one who actually threw the party. Go figure, right? She had said something about wanting to live until the last possibly second of her life, and I guess she did that. She was also Jewish, which meant her funeral had to happen before sundown/sun up/something like that. (Daylight/nighttime was flickering throughout my memory of my dream.) So we did it right then.
• Weird things continued to happen. Though hysterical, Shawn thought it was a good idea to open the casket. At first, all we could see was from her knee down. And Shawn kept poking at this soft spot just above her knee until it had this big gashy indent, kinda like a bad panna cotta actually. He continued to do this has he screamed and cried. Then someone pulled out her entire body, which according to some weird Jewish burial tradition, had been beheaded. She was naked, and her boobs were old, let’s just say. This same random person wore the body on them kinda like you would wear that lead jacket at the dentist for x-rays. Eventually KiKi made it back into the coffin, but not without sufficiently weirding me out.
• The casket went back into the building. A huge crowd of people rushed to get inside, and of course, the guards working the door wouldn’t let me in. Apparently the building was too full or something like that. I was pissed. I’m not quite sure exactly happened after that, but I do vaguely recall trying to flirt my way inside. And you know what? That is something I would probably actually try. Ha.
• Back tracking through my dream, or at least my memory, I was in Pennsylvania. We needed to get somewhere. Saw Uncle Bill and three other family members… We drove down the mountain to some event. It was a really steep drive, almost like the Sunday River Road. Like I held onto my seat. Then the event took place. This part is vague.
• But this part is not. The event is over. There are like six or seven different ways to get back up and around the mountain, but we can’t remember which way we came. There are two or three cars. It was literally like something from a movie. We were driving the car up through this moderately sized stream of water that was covering the “road” which was a lot more like a dirt path. There certainly wasn’t concrete or pavement. We kept going up these winding passages and either getting stuck or having to turn around or whatever. It took forever. I felt like Indiana Jones, though.
• There were no trees on the mountains at the beginning. But once I started driving a car that had no floor (just like the Flintstones!) we were in forest. And I was driving up easily a 65 degree grade, being chastised by (I think) Uncle Bill to drive faster. I was afraid my feet would drag against the ground. And my feet kept getting wet from the puddles and rain and water that seemed to be.. everywhere.

There you have it, the greatest/craziest/most fucked up dream(s) I’ve had in quite a while. What does it all mean? Honestly, I would rather not know. That was a little traumatic.